


Acceptance

by Bubballoo



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Butler, Comfort, Contract, Crying, Cuddle, Cute, Dark, Demon, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashback, Fluff, Jks, Kuroshitsuji - Freeform, Memories, Nightmare, Oneshot, Other, Panick Attack, Phantomhive, SEBASTIAN - Freeform, Sad, SebCiel, SebaCiel - Freeform, Theories, blackbutler, brother, ciel - Freeform, ciel just needs hugs, cute af, earl grey tea duh, guilty, hug, idk what season but mostly goes off the manga theory, imagine, ish, soul, tired, twin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 17:18:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13276191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubballoo/pseuds/Bubballoo
Summary: What if it was all based on lies?What if Ciel Phantomhive truly died?He had a twin...That night comes back to haunt the thirteen year old and Sebastian is the only one who knows the secret.*fluff comfort guilt flashback etc*





	Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the theory of Ciel having a twin from the manga form (altho the anime is great oml)
> 
> Basically comfort and relationship progress between the two 
> 
> Nothing too triggering although there is a flashback so 
> 
> Enjoyyyyy

Ciel needed acceptance.

After these past few years that felt like both a chased breath and a never ending dooming, Ciel's dark secret was catching up to him emotionally. Something he couldn't do. Something he had refused to spare. But...

"Young master?" 

The young boy barely moved or showed any sign of acknowledgment of his butler from his hunched position on his floor. Sebastian eyed him both mildly worried and calculating.   
He knew his master was still a human and a young one at that - weakness wasn't something unfamiliar to Ciel, despite his strong determination for his goals. Something the older was rarely given sight to.

But those few slipped moments were fleeting and dismissed, often ended with an insult to Sebastian. This, though, could perhaps be something the young master wouldn't wish him to see. Maybe some time alone would serve the boy good.

"I shall bring you some tea, bocchan." And he quietly slipped from the bedroom with a silent click of the door he had entered from.

The faint noise barely registered in Ciel's ears, so overcome with thoughts racing around his brain. He was living a lie... letting others live in his lie. But that was the plan, to use and use again until he was sitting atop his hard earned throne of revenge. 

But revenge of what? He was the one who had let his brother die. He was the one who deceived so many. He was the one who was supposed to die. And he was the one who still lived in his brother's name after stealing his identity.

He remembered their lives before. Flashes of him quietly watching Lizzy and his twin play together. He always was the shyer one. Glimpses of his parents laughing as his brother entertained them with his loud boisterousness and energy. 

Why couldn't I be like that? he remembered thinking. His twin would be the one who became heir and married Elizabeth. And he had let him die and taken his name and fiancée. Why? How could anyone love him if they knew?

That Ciel had deceived them all and betrayed his brother. Would he still love him? If he saw what he'd become? Would anyone love him if they knew who he truly was? The one that nobody wanted. That he wasn't Ciel but the unwanted twin that should have died, as he'd let the story play? 

He was a lie...

"Young master, your tea." Sebastian's voice was cool and calm as always as he stepped close to the boy with the tray in his hands. "It is the Earl Grey sweetened with a spoonful of sugar."

No reply. 

"Perhaps a different tea?"

Unsurprised at the lack of response, he sighed almost silently and reached forward to lightly place the tray on the bedside table and finally looked down at him.

He was shivering. Clothed in only his thin sleep shirt, Ciel was still in the same spot as he had left him and curled up on the floor near the bed. Sebastian was struck with, dare he say, uncertainty. Apparently his plan to leave him be hadn't done much and the young lord was still unresponsive. So what was a butler to do? This wasn't exactly the demon's forte.

He finally knelt down beside the small boy that was his master and moved to try and see his face. A faint whimpering that he hadn't been listening for before reached his ears, much like the nights when the bocchan would awake with nightmares and ask the butler to stay. Perhaps that was the route to take.

Sebastian leaned forward and reached a hand out to gently bring a finger under Ciel's chin to see his face, only to have him avoid it and minutely duck his head into his knees once again. 

"Young master?" The butler questioned him quietly.

Young master... The name would have made Ciel laugh had it been a different moment. But it wasn't. For he knew he was a traitor and a liar, ironic how those are the things he hates the most. Maybe that was why he hated himself - what he'd become.

And he loved his brother... he loved him so much. His child self never imagined being without him and what would come to be, and now that happy, confident boy everyone loved, the one who was promised the world and brightened lives, he was gone. Replaced by a fool, cheap replica who killed and meddled with things under his formerly unstained name.

Ciel...

His chest ached so bad and he grabbed at it in a poor attempt of easing the pain only to have a tear slip from his eyes. Typical, he thought bitterly, even something as mundane as tears betray him. 

A hand settling on his shoulder registered through the blur and he jerked it off as his chest began to heave.

Because just what type of person lets this happen? Is he really that horrible? Is this really what he's become? A monster.  
While the one who deserved to live... he let perish in an unimaginable death. 

In fact, Ciel could see it now. He can see it so clearly. He's crying... there's bars in his vision and he can see his brother. The table... that wretched table that he'd seen countless murders of innocent children take place, ruthless and as bloody as the last. And he's a helpless child again.

A torn cry mixed with a gasp loudly emitted from Ciel's small body and Sebastian moved back in shock. He was so silent before and his eyes widened.

"Young... master?" He whispered worriedly. He shuffled closer to shivering boy as his body appeared to be shaking and heaving, appearing  to not be aware of himself or his surroundings.

Foremost he was to protect his master. Sebastian was at a loss of what to do and just as he was about to try and shake him out of it, another cry broke out of Ciel.

And there he was. The man with the knife as he rose it high above the squirming child. And he was crying to himself as he shoved against those cold, cold bars. Please, no... 

"Young master!"

Familiar dark, blue eyes reflected into his own with desperation in the shiny orbs as that tiny hand flung towards him, both crying out to each other over the falling knife that drove downwards to it's end.

"Ciel!"

And then brown.

"Young master! Please!" Sebastian frantically shook the sobbing child but immediately stopped upon the blues that opened to directly meet his own eyes.   
He quickly flicked them over Ciel's face and knelt closer in front of him to softly wipe away a tear underneath. The skin was damp and reddened and his body must be weak with how he was only being held up by his own hands from completely falling forward.

Sebastian hesitantly went to remove a hand from his shoulder but was surprised when Ciel immediately clutched onto his wrist in a tight grip, never removing his gaze.

He paused, but then smiled as he understood and bought both his hands down to take hold of Ciel's smaller ones. The boy was quiet and didn't remove nor return the gesture.  
Perhaps he was still affected by whatever he had just experienced.

"Are you alright?" Sebastian asked him softly.

But the boy didn't answer straight away.

Because all he saw was brown at the moment, a dark, reddy brown with hints of gold. The colours somewhat distracted him but his mind was still taken away by thoughts that didn't want to let him escape their clutches.

Sebastian's eyes softened, which Ciel mildly noticed since he still hadn't removed his gaze from them since being partially broken from his flash back.

"Bocchan..."

His butler's larger hand let go of one of his own and began to gently run itself through his silvery, blue hair. He couldn't help it when his body slightly melted into the touch and his eyes  slowly closed.

He was so tired... Feeling weak, his mind almost had no choice over the matter but to let his tiny body lean forward against Sebastian. His forehead touched his butler's chest and he let it rest there as he stayed quiet and tried to forget.

Sebastian...

His butler...

His demon...

Guess he'd lied to him, too.

Ciel swallowed a few times due to his dry throat and chapped lips, then brokenly muttered out, "I'm not... Ciel..."

And Sebastian finally realised what this was about. But there was no response. The boy didn't know what he was expecting but maybe he was mad. After all, what would Sebastian care? Ciel's only supposed to be using him too and the man was only in for it for his soul.

He'd failed to notice that the hand carding through his hair never ceased as he continued to rest his tired body against the taller male.

"You're my master. I'm to be your sword until you accomplish your goals," Sebastian stated.

Ciel's eyes watered stubbornly and he grit his teeth as he held back from being so embarrassing as to show weakness again. Annoyingly, a traitorous tear slipped out and down his cheek, and he fisted his hands as he leaned even more forward to hide his face in his butler's coat.

How stupid of him. Such simple words and it affected him so. Didn't he care?

"But I lied to you," he ground out through his teeth.

The stupid man only gave an amused chuckle. "Demons lie. Humans lie. Everyone lies. What are you trying to say, young master?"

Ciel didn't know. What was he trying to say? Was he expecting him to be mad? On first thought, yes. In his moment he had expected that he too would be angry for being lied to and of how he wasn't really Ciel Phantomhive as he'd let everyone believe.  
But he'd forgotten he was a demon. The epitome of sin and deception themselves.

He almost sighed but let his shoulders drop down. "Did you know?" He finally asked him.

Sebastian hummed, which the boy felt through his chest, and replied with, "Essentially, yes."

Ciel really shouldn't have expected any less after all.

The man continued. "When you summoned me, I had no particular knowledge or care for who you were. Of course, I figured it out shortly after but it didn't change anything for—"

"It should!" He was cut off by Ciel abruptly moving back to look at him with teary eyes and a fierce face. Sebastian knew the look. His master was angry and confused, but mostly, he was just vulnerable right now. The boy hit his chest with his small fist, something which he guessed telling him it was about as painful as a butterfly's kiss, wasn't what he wanted to hear right now. 

The boy continued to glare up at him with water eyes. "It should matter! Whether you or not, they all believe I'm Ciel! No one knows I'm me, they don't want me. And if I'm not him, it should change things. Because I lied, to you as well."

He stayed there, sitting in front of him while slightly panting after his outburst. Waiting for an answer.

Ciel waited for him to say something. He still wasn't quite sure of what he was doing anymore or what he was saying. He didn't quite know what he wanted. But he waited for Sebastian to say something as he looked up at him in all his annoyingly calm self.

That small side smile that his black butler frequently performed took sight again. He reached forward towards Ciel and brushed his index finger along the soft skin right underneath his purple eye. The one that held sole proof of the contract between them.

Ciel watched intently as he leaned ever close towards him and Sebastian's eyes changed and glowed the red of his true demon form.

He spoke firmly and simply. "Young master, regardless of who you are, I stayed beside you and will until the very end." He purposefully brought forward his marked hand to brush under his eye again as the symbols glowed in unison. "You summoned me to help you achieve your revenge and as long as you are alive, I will obey your every order and fulfil your wishes as your butler. You may have a fake identity, but you are who I made my contract with. It changes nothing. I want you, your soul."

Moving back and reverting his eyes, Sebastian smiled and took ahold of Ciel's hand in his own gloved one. "You are to be Ciel Phantomhive. Do not disappoint me as my master," he finished firmly.

The young boy was taken off guard and soon averted his gaze. 

Maybe... maybe this is all he needs. Maybe it's all he needed. What's done in the past is the past, right now he is Ciel, he still has a goal.   
And for someone to know and still accept him, maybe it didn't matter, or maybe he already has that person. It didn't matter to Sebastian who he was, he was still the one who would help him. That's what he'd asked for.

"Bocchan, you came to me with a plan. It hasn't changed, has it?" He asked pointedly.

That managed to bring the tiniest of smirks on Ciel's lips and he looked up at Sebastian with sparkling eyes. "Of course not. I'll avenge for what those people have done and you'll help me see it through to the end."

Something akin to pride and satisfaction resounded through Sebastian's being as he dutifully looked down and raised his hand to his chest. "Yes, my lord."

Ciel watched in acknowledgment and any previous thoughts of what had occurred before was vanished.   
Besides, what a child wants, a child gets.

"Sebastian."

"Yes?"

"The tea is cold."

Sebastian got up off of the floor and hurried to it. Indeed, the tea would be cold by now. What a pity. Now he would have to take it back.

Ciel sighed to himself and closed his eyes as the tension left his body. After all the emotions and adrenaline leave, he's always left with exhaustion and weakness. Of course, it'd be of no bother if he were in bed like most of the times this happened, but alas, he was still sitting on the floor. Nothing like a nobleman.

"Sebastian."

The butler immediately looked over and forgot about the tea, instead coming back over to Ciel. He leaned down to pick up his small body and gently lifted him to comfortably place the boy on his large bed.

"Do you wish to sleep now, young master?"

Ciel only nodded and let Sebastian routinely pull back the covers and plump the pillows before raising his arms again. He lifted him up once again to move him to the top of the bed and Ciel silently shuffled over onto his side as Sebastian brought the covers over his body to tuck him in.

At this rate, it was already past his curfew and the boy was ready to fall asleep with how tired he was with everything catching up to him. He wanted to just forget everything already until morning. A last brush of a hand against his hair and Ciel let his eyes finally flutter closed.

Sebastian eyed the small boy now resting in his bed and he walked over to the candles and blew them out, throwing the room into darkness save the faint glow of the moon through the window.   
He picked up the tray of cold Earl Grey tea from the bedside table. He would have brought the young master some hot milk with honey as usual but the boy seemed to be too tired to even have a chance to stay awake for it.

Sebastian assumed a mix of memories and guilt bought this on and he somewhat understood what he may have been feeling. Still, what the butler had told him was true, and he knew that his Ciel was a remarkable master. And he intended to stay and help him until the very end.

Shaking away all thoughts, he held the tray more firmly and turned to leave the room. He had other duties to attend to.

"Sebastian?"

Ciel called out softly for him, eyes still closed. 

He realised that all he really needed as a child, was acceptance. And still, even after everything, Sebastian was the one who didn't care. He's the one who isn't allowed to betray him and what he has with him is the closest thing to trusting someone in this world.  
So maybe, that's all that matters.

"Yes?" 

"Stay."

And Sebastian was okay with that. He bowed slightly and raised his hand to his left pectoral, over his heart in a show of obedience and dedication.

"Yes, my lord."


End file.
